now that the object of my desires for months past is seemingly finally within reach, why do i feel like i’ve reached a dead end? with that fire that i used to think he had, do i embrace it and let the flame engulf me? or do i leave it alone, knowing that there’s a strong possibility of getting burned? i have the feeling that he’ll get back with the one he’s been on&off with by the time the weekend hits and i feel like it already happened. my mindset is already there, hearing it from him or someone else won’t bring about a feeling of surprise out of me. i was so pissed off this weekend at how the dynamics of their relationship worked, i was ready to be over it and a part of me thinks it worked. =x
and then i feel like his perception of me is something more than what i really am because i’d always try to put my very best forward whenever i was around him and i feel that now that his effort towards makin it more than it was before is goin towards someone who isn’t always the person i put in front of him. and to top it off, i think i’m turnin into a chris brown typa brotha, see that cast up there? kinda happened cuz of me…then i socked him in the chest on saturday out of anger. -_____- i am tripppppin.
